Hardest Way to Love
by Dakk Tribal
Summary: 'Sometimes, it is better to love now than later, since later may not be as beautiful as now.' VaanxAshe fic.  Due to readers requests, a prequel is currently being made to this story.  Read and Review!


'Sometimes, it is better to love now than later, since later may not be as beautiful as now.'

Since the fall of the Archadian Empire's reign over the Kingdom of Dalmasca, things had been quite peaceful in Rabanastre. The capital of Dalmasca had since returned to normal since the independence of her state. While the change of ruling made the citizens happy, things were looking a bit unpleasant elsewhere.

Queen Ashelia B'Nargan Dalmasca, Queen for only three years after leading the resistance to victory, was sitting on her throne, listening to the Council speak of the various laws now being implemented to the people. Many ranged from the war with Arcadia and how to pay off the large debt it owed Dalmasca. The Queen often voiced her own opinion in the matter, but because of her inexperience, her words were somewhat rebuffed. This concerned her little, as the councilors often knew she had very little to say, yet she was still Queen and she had the authority to refute the laws they tried to enact.

The subject was easily boring to the 22 year old Queen, who only found the conversation interesting when it came to an end.

The next subject was more than interesting, mainly because it was also on a personal level to the monarch.

The Rozzarian Empire, the former rival of the Archadian Empire, was stepping up actions against its new threat: sky piracy. Since the fall of the Archadian sky fleet, the outlaws that were once in hiding of the Archadians now moved out into the open to restart their old habits.

Since then, the skies above Rabanastre have been strictly watched for anything that even resembled a sky pirate vessel was to be searched and if found to be of that origin, all crew were sent to the Nalbina dungeons and left to die while the captains were to be executed as a warning to their brethren.

That was the law that the Council had made. Of course, the Queen was asked to voice her opinion in this matter.

This very law seemed to interest Ashe, at least to those around her. And she had reason to be so: a few of her former allies were pirates. Fran and Balthier, whom she had not heard from since the fall of Mydia, and Penelo and Vaan, two citizens of Rabanastre.

Balthier and Fran had seemingly vanished without a trace, not even Penelo knew where they were. Penelo, who often kept in touch with Ashe by sending letters to her, had said in her last letter that she had given up being a sky pirate since the newer stricter laws came into effect, but had said nothing about Vaan.

'I suppose he is still out there having his fun,' she thought when she read Penelo's last letter from three days ago. Ashe had never understood why the young man she had met was so interested in the life of a fugitive, a criminal as she was always told. While she never truly trusted those who helped her regain the independence for her country, they always stood by her until the end. And to return the favor, she often pardoned their actions if they were caught in Dalmasca.

That would have to change now that the Council had replaced the laws with even stricter ones.

Ashe, who had heard enough of the drabble and stood to leave, "I take my leave, Councilors. Good day." She nodded to them and left out the door followed by her maids.

She returned to her bedchamber, exhausted from all the walking she had endured, and after all her maids left her room, she landed on the bed face first. She was going to take a nap, and absolutely nothing was going to stop her from doing so. Not even getting under the covers, Ashe kicked off her shoes and lay on her side, facing the balcony near her bed. The warm summer breeze gently swam in like a river, gently hitting the Queen. Feeling relaxed, Ashe began to sleep, thoughts of pirates and friends the last thoughts in her mind before heading off to slumber.

The guards in the dungeons of Nalbina were escorting many prisoners that had been captured during a raid near the Highwaste. The area north of Nalbina was an area known to hide sky pirates, and the city officials on the fortress city used all the power they could muster to bring the brigands to justice. And the operation was a smashing success. Over 300 pirates were captured, including 18 captains. As per protocol, the crews were shipped to either Rabanastre, Archadia, or to work camps located in the Estersand/Westersands while the captains were to be shipped to Nalbina for execution.

The dungeons at Nalbina were full with ordinary criminals, so a couple captains were sent to more remote locations in the area. One particular cell was located near the sewer, straight below the fortress kitchen, it had room for only one inmate. And that was where this particular captain was going. Captured while drinking at the Highwaste, the man was in his early 20s, short sandy blonde hair, and had what appeared to be Dalmascan clothing. Yet, this man could have come from anywhere in Ivalice.

As the guard shoved the prisoner into his cell, the man turned to face him, "You plan to starve me to death in this pit? Just kill me and be done with it."

The guard laughed, "Don't be in too much of a hurry to die, knave, we plan for you to think about your crimes before you swing from the gallows." Then he closed the gate, locking it.

When he walked away, and the door closed behind him, Vaan went and sat in the farthest corner of his small cell, hands behind his head as if he were out at the beach. "They finally caught me. Took them long enough."

As Vaan was interned at the dungeon, Queen Ashelia was arriving to the fortress city, on business duty. She was there to inspect the finishing touches to the fortress after its near destruction during the Siege three years ago. She arrived with a great cheering crowd, the workers stopped to greet the Queen, and all shops were closed to honor the fete the Queen was to have that evening. Ashe wasn't expecting to be in the fortress city for more than three days at the most. Just inspect the fortress, have the fete, talk about the dungeons, then she'd leave.

After she arrived, Ashe immediately went to the fortress workers to thank them for all their work for the city, and then she went to speak with the governor to talk about more pressing matters, like the expansion of the overcrowded dungeons. To see if this were feasible, Ashe was taken on a tour of the dungeons, including the areas under the fortress.

Vaan was bored out of his mind. He had only a small window from which he could see the outside world through, and two torches on either side of the gate only lighted the cell. It also stunk very badly, like a never cleaned sewer. 'Even the Garamsythe Waterway smelled better than this.' As he was looking out the window, he heard the door open, 'Must be the guard, coming to give me more scolding.' Vaan continued to look out the window has he heard not one pair of footsteps but many, as many as four people were coming down the corridor to his cell. For what reason, he did not know yet. After catching the sweet scent of a Bhujerba perfume, he looked at the gate. And that's when he saw her.

Ashe had not seen this coming. She had come down with the stone smith, along with one of her maids and a guard, to this area to help decide if it should be expanded, and she saw her former friend stuck in the cell she was passing by. This prompted her to stop and stare at him, and for a few seconds, time stood still for her. She had seen Vaan in over two years, but he no longer appeared to be the reckless young boy he was the last time she saw him, he was now a grown man, doing well for himself from the looks of it.

Vaan stood against the wall, hands crossed over his chest, "Hello, Ashe."

Before she could answer, the guard Vaan met earlier struck the bars angrily, "Hold your tongue before the Queen!"

Vaan smirked, then bit his thumb in the direction of the guard, but Ashe made the soldier back off before any more insults were given. "It's alright, I know this man."

"'This man'? I'm surprised that you can't even say my name," Vaan said, slightly offended that his old friend didn't seem to remember him.

Ashe shook her head, then looked away, "Leave us be."

Everyone around the Queen looked at her in stunned silence. "I'll be alright." The stone smith was the first to go, dragging the maid behind him, the guard was rather reluctant, but obeyed when Ashe looked at him.

When all the others left, Ashe stepped closer to Vaan, "When did you get here?"

"This morning. Captured at the Highwaste, in the most ridiculous way, I might add," Vaan answer quickly, stepping away from the wall.

Ashe sighed, "Easy capture I guess…"

"Well, I hadn't been caught in two years, it's a record," Vaan said, jokingly.

The Queen couldn't believe that Vaan was joking at a time like this, "You're going to be executed, Vaan."

He looked at her, walking up to the bars, "I know."

"Doesn't that thought make you regret your choice to be a sky pirate?"

Vaan shook his head, "I knew the risks when I said I wanted to be one. But let me ask you this, have you ever regretted being the Queen, when you knew that you'd have to accept the duties you're entitled to? Even if you have to order the trapdoor to open on one of your friends?"

Ashe looked away again, "Vaan, I am born royalty, I must think of my people before personal friends."

"That's a lie."

"'Tis not!"

"Then what about what happened in Jahara between us?"

Ashe had to stop and remember, the anger she had calming down. Jahara was a village that was said to hold the answers that Ashe had needed to find. However, she had not found anything there but more questions than answers. Ashe, then a Princess and leader of the Resistance, was searching for vengeance against Arcadia. Driven by the sight of the spirit of her dead husband, she was seeking only the destruction of the Empire.

But, it was on that night she discovered something as well.

She had seen the apparition of Rasler, she went ahead and discovered Vaan had seen him too. They talked about certain things, what they had lost, what they were after, and most of all: where their lives would go after the fall of the Empire. Vaan, then 17, made it clear he wanted revenge, and he wanted to be a sky pirate like Balthier and Fran. Ashe, driven by grief and vengeance, desired revenge and retribution for her country as well. However, she soon changed her mind when she realized that she was just a tool for the Occurians.

As to what happened in Jahara between the Princess and thief… Vaan had opened up to Ashe more than anyone else in the party at the time. Ashe, who Vaan had rescued more than once during their journey and asked for no reward in return, seemed to return the feelings he had given her. It seemed to some, that the two were in some type of bond at the time. They never did anything intimate, but the way they were always around each other, it seemed that it was heading in that direction. Of course, Ashe didn't know whether or not Vaan had any feelings for her, and if he did he never showed any at least not in front of her.

However, that all changed after the death of Vayne Solidor.

When Ashe was made the Queen of Dalmasca, Vaan was seemingly heartbroken and took to the skies to distance himself from Ashe.

"Vaan… I couldn't let our relationship interfere with my coronation, that is why I didn't return your letters," Ashe explained.

"You always thought of yourself first, Ashelia, that's how it always was," Vaan said, rather harshly.

The Queen took her hands off the bars and took a step back, "I was fighting for my country Vaan—"

"And yet I gave you company when grief nearly consumed you," Vaan replied, "The least you could have done was give gratitude."

Ashe looked him straight in the eyes, "And what form of gratitude could I have given you?"

Vaan looked at her, then he grabbed Ashe by the chin and pulled her in and kissed her on the lips. Ashe tried to grab the bars to prevent this, but Vaan was stronger than he was years ago, she was no match for him now.

The woman squirmed and tried to shove him off, but Vaan had somehow got an arm around Ashe's waist, preventing her from escaping. Soon enough however, Ashe didn't look as if she was trying to escape.

Vaan, feeling satisfied, let Ashe's chin go to let her catch her breath, "That's good enough for now."

Ashe pulled herself back, then slapped Vaan across the face, hitting the iron bars in the process. Vaan didn't stumble back, his head moved to a side, and he looked as if he was unnerved, when in fact he felt as though a brick wall had hit his face.

Ashe felt insulted that a man, a man she had some feelings for, kissed her without her permission, "How dare you!"

Vaan backed away from the cell door, "Don't act like you weren't expecting that, Ashelia. I mean, I thought you would have after all we went through."

Before Ashe could respond the guard came walking in, "Time to leave your majesty."

Ashe started to walk away franticly, but not before she heard Vaan's voice again, "We won't last forever, but can't we enjoy it while we can?"

Ashe took a second to think about what he was talking about, then she knew, and walked out the door without saying a word.

Vaan went over to a corner, wiping the smear of Ashe's lipstick-and some of his own blood-with his cloth. "I thought we had something too…"

Ashe returned to her room after the fete was over. She was still fuming from her conversation with Vaan, and the kiss, to the point she could think of nothing else. Placing two of her fingers on her right hand to her lips. Many times she thought of Vaan, and as the time grew nearer his execution the she felt worse.

But what could she do…?

If she tried to help him, she would seem untrustworthy to everyone for the sake for her friend.

And if she didn't help him, he would die…

She didn't know what to do… Then, she thought up something.

The stars had been out for over a few hours, and Vaan was still awake. The fete honoring the Queen had just finished, and Vaan could smell meat and herbal spices coming from the fort.

Vaan kept thinking of Ashe, and he was still savoring that kiss from before when the guard came by his gate. He was holding a small crystal white bag made of linen. "This is from Her Majesty." He set the bag down near the gate and walked away. Vaan made his way over there, grabbed the bag and went over to his corner. He opened the bag, and he was hit instantly smelling some meat and spices, along with a few small sandwiches, and finally the sweet scent of vanilla cake.

"Wow…"

After he ate, Vaan noticed that there was a letter along with it. Taking the letter in his hands, he could faintly smell the scent of Bhujerban perfume. Opening it, he quickly noticed a small key, and written in a familiar handwriting, the letter read:

'_Vaan,_

_I must apologize for being the way I was hours before. And you were right, we did have something years ago, and I was the one who refused to remember. This is my way of apology, inside this letter is a skeleton key, use it to escape the dungeons. As you may know, there is a sewer system under the dungeons near your cell. You can take that to the Dalmascan Estersand._

_As to what you said, maybe we can last forever…_

_Your Friend,_

_Ashelia B'nargin Dalmasca_

Vaan looked at the key, then stuffed it into his right gauntlet for later. Then he started to formulate his plan for escape…

Ashe had hoped that her care package had satisfied Vaan. The key she had given him had once belonged to her father, given to her at the surrender ceremony before the Resistance started. Then, the advice she gave him would help escape, and live. She wanted him to live. She may not have been able to express herself, since she believed she would have had a weakness, and she didn't want that for the fights she was to experience, but the fact always remained—

She loves him.

The fact was never lost on her, she just didn't want to accept it when it became apparent, and she realized now that hurt more than it helped. As she put on her nightclothes and got into her bed, she tried to believe Vaan had to have escaped by then, and he'd be out of danger.

Only in her most beautiful dreams would she have guessed what he was really up to now.

Vaan waited until the guard was out like a light in his chair before he started to use the key. He had to do it ever so gingerly, and when he heard the click, he opened the gate and slowly slipped out of the cell and out of the dungeon, but not in the direction that Ashe's letter prescribed to him. He wasn't interested in escaping, at least not until he returned something to her first.

Ashe found herself unable to sleep. So much that she was tossing and turning, trying to forget about what she helped instigate. Vaan escaping was her idea, and if he were caught again he'd be executed on the spot, there was very little she could do if that were to happen.

Her heart started to beat faster as a vision entered her mind. The sight of Vaan, battered and bloodied, with the executioner's axe swinging toward his neck made her sweat with fear. She finally had enough. She would make sure he was gone, then he fears would be calm, at least for awhile. She sprang from her bed and ran straight to her door, opening it up just in time to see Vaan standing outside her door.

As happy as she was to see Vaan alive, Ashe was also angry with him for not leaving for the sewers. Yet, she refrained from yelling at him, where the echo of her voice would be carried down the hall, be heard by the guards, and then there would be trouble. She grabbed his arm and pulled him into the room, locking her door. She said, in an angry whisper, "By the gods, what are you doing here! You should have escaped like I told you-"

She was cut off. Vaan had taken hold of her, and just like in the dungeon, pulled her lips to meet his. Without the bars that held her from him before, she found her body crashing into his. She felt his arms go around her waist, pulling her ever closer to him, while her own arms moved of their own accord, wrapping around his neck.

They continued to kiss, until Ashe pulled away to look Vaan in the eyes. He was looking in hers, trying to express what he wanted to say, but the words could not come out. So, he kissed her again, and the next thing Ashe knew, she was on her bed, Vaan was above her, still kissing her. The last thing she heard was the tearing of fabric, and her inner most feelings bursting out, finally free from their restraints.

It wasn't until the next morning, when the guard awoke to find Vaan gone, that the entire garrison at Nalbina was called to duty. By the time the guard started to move out, Vaan had woken, mainly because he knew that his escape would cause an uproar of some kind. Ashe was still asleep, her body exhausted from the love the two made during the night. Vaan was surprised she was able to hold in her screams for as long as she did. "She got tougher," he said, fixing his vest, then he tightened the rope that went from her balcony to the back of the fortress. This would take him to the lightly guarded castle rear, and escape to the Estersand, and get away.

However, he went back over to Ashe. Sleeping peacefully amidst the commotion, the Queen would never say goodbye to the sky pirate as he would be long gone by the time she woke. So, he would say it for her in his own way. He kissed her on the lips again, "Farewell, but not good-bye." He then went and tightened the rope around his waist, taking one last look at his lover before he started the long trek down the tower.

Later in the day, Ashe finally did wake up. She wasn't surprised that Vaan was gone, she had expected it. Pulling the bed sheets up to cover her chest, she looked around for any trace, and she found none. None, except for the small skeleton key on her bedside table. She reached for the key and held it to her chest, over her heart, and looked at the open balcony doors.


End file.
